Senandika

do not love me for I am a catastrophe I could torment your life anytime of the day Such monstrosity that would only bring pain and suffer do not love me for I am such a klutz I have way too many scars I might scared of getting hurt, but I always hurt myself at the end of the day I have way too many scars That I myself could never heal it properly That others think beautiful, but it is visually ugly That I myself could never know when it'll finally gone do not love me for I am such a catastrophe Shards of glasses that could make you bleed Thorn of roses that could scare you Edge of knives that could stab you anytime of the day do not love me for so many reasons God...... Please do not love me for good

A too much is just too much for one But it also might be too little for others Today she learned that people faces different problems. Such a rollercoaster ride for one to experience. Not every rides are thrilling and exciting; some even hurting or scary. And to wonder how many rides they've had or how many more? It's great to be a listener sometimes but when one have enough, should they be the storyteller then? Funny to say that...... I do sometimes want to tell but words don't come out easily. Solid reason to be a listener. Berlin, February 2020

Hey there Mr. Moon Been seven months She misses writing down her feelings Reminding her very own self To not be too harsh to not be afraid to not be inferior Despite everything.. Before autumn ends She realized that,  mayhap,  she's been ever so fragile wounded by herself she's been ever so lonely can trust nobody but she's been ever so strong if it isn't wrong Mayhap she wrote this as a reassurance That despite everything She will ever be 

Yesterday she tried to camouflaged as if she's the happiest person in the world. It went well by the end of the day. Today she disguised herself as if she's one carefree person. She hides perfectly that no one knows her very own self. Appearing nonchalant and reserved and no one asks why Tomorrow will be one tough day because she's ran out of masks But what's the point of using masks anyway when the anxiety keeps coming.....

Ia pergi menyendiri karena ingin mati

There are times when she is not okay As if the world turned upside down As if the world hates her very own self A friction between her and her very own self Times when she's feeling distressed By the hollowing anxiety By the pressure from her very own self Could she ever be at peace with her own self? Could she ever stop worrying and being scared of everything? Could the unpleasant, vexatious things go forever? From her who's emotionally unstable and trying to fix the wreckage

Hai bulan Mengapa sembunyi? Ia tak datang malam ini Ia juga tak akan datang esok pagi Hai bulan Mengapa sembunyi? Sia sia pencarian malam ini Gundah padam sesal menghantui Hai bulan Mengapa baru kemari? Aku butuh sinarmu malam ini Untuk mencari hati yang tak kunjung kembali