Senandika

A too much is just too much for one But it also might be too little for others Today she learned that people faces different problems. Such a rollercoaster ride for one to experience. Not every rides are thrilling and exciting; some even hurting or scary. And to wonder how many rides they've had or how many more? It's great to be a listener sometimes but when one have enough, should they be the storyteller then? Funny to say that...... I do sometimes want to tell but words don't come out easily. Solid reason to be a listener. Berlin, February 2020

Hey there Mr. Moon Been seven months She misses writing down her feelings Reminding her very own self To not be too harsh to not be afraid to not be inferior Despite everything.. Before autumn ends She realized that,  mayhap,  she's been ever so fragile wounded by herself she's been ever so lonely can trust nobody but she's been ever so strong if it isn't wrong Mayhap she wrote this as a reassurance That despite everything She will ever be 

Yesterday she tried to camouflaged as if she's the happiest person in the world. It went well by the end of the day. Today she disguised herself as if she's one carefree person. She hides perfectly that no one knows her very own self. Appearing nonchalant and reserved and no one asks why Tomorrow will be one tough day because she's ran out of masks But what's the point of using masks anyway when the anxiety keeps coming.....

Ia pergi menyendiri karena ingin mati

There are times when she is not okay As if the world turned upside down As if the world hates her very own self A friction between her and her very own self Times when she's feeling distressed By the hollowing anxiety By the pressure from her very own self Could she ever be at peace with her own self? Could she ever stop worrying and being scared of everything? Could the unpleasant, vexatious things go forever? From her who's emotionally unstable and trying to fix the wreckage

Hai bulan Mengapa sembunyi? Ia tak datang malam ini Ia juga tak akan datang esok pagi Hai bulan Mengapa sembunyi? Sia sia pencarian malam ini Gundah padam sesal menghantui Hai bulan Mengapa baru kemari? Aku butuh sinarmu malam ini Untuk mencari hati yang tak kunjung kembali

Hai... Apa cerita malam ini? Mau pergi kemana? Jangan terlalu tinggi, harapanku tak sampai Jangan terlalu jauh, aku tidak mungkin kuat Jangan terlalu lama, aku tidak bisa menunggu Angkasa menjawab Berlarilah dan mengejar. Aku disini Kau tunggu karena kau sabar Kau kuat karena kau yakin Kau akan sampai karena kau berlari dan aku disini ❄ ❆ ❄ ❆ ❄ ❆ ❄ ❆ ❄ ❆ ❄ ❆ ❄ ❆ ❄ She reassured herself that god has everything planned